September 7, 2006

Conspiratorial Nausea, a 21st Century Syndrome

We've always had conspiracies and conspiracy theories, but even in these early years of the 'new millennium' it's apparent that the conspiracies and the theories are bigger and more pervasive and dangerous than ever before. Many people are investigating conspiracies and many more are reading about them. E.g. In 2006, in Canada, England, and the USA, groups of 'suspected Islamic radicals' were rounded up on suspicion of planning various acts of terrorism against their respective host countries. Those Arabs would constitute conspirators, but the behind the scenes stories of their arrests raises serious questions of whether they were, in fact, conspiring or were they 'set up' by government agencies in a deliberate 'sting' operation for political purposes. The public doesn't know any more what to believe, and that uncertainty in itself induces psychological and physical stresses in the populace at large.

However, what I'm talking about here is a kind of physical syndrome that often occurs when one has discovered for the first time that "Ohmigod, there is no Santa Claus-- it's all a fantastic hoax!" Of course, we probably cope with that revelation fairly well. But there are far more ominous hoaxes afoot in the world that can cause mild to severe withdrawal symptoms once we realize the awful truth. Let me give some examples from my own experience since I've been thru this process three(!) times now.

The first time 'it' happened to me was when I finally woke up and understood that the religion of my youth (the 'GM' of the religious world) was a completely artificial fabrication, with mere lip-service to the Bible, and a large amount of borrowing from pagan tradition. It was a shock to my personal world, my belief system, my paradigm. And yet, I didn't just get hit with this expose unawares. I had been reading a magazine (The Plain Truth, now defunct) that had given generous hints prior to my tipping point. But the pieces hadn't all come together for me until a moment when I put down a booklet by the same organization, and then it dawned on me, 'The Church you've grown up in and invested so much personal capital in, is a false, non-Christian organization, under the guidance of Satan himself for the purpose of leading millions of souls from Truth!' Let me tell you, for the next several weeks I was in a spiritual daze; still functioning on auto-pilot at work and at home, but feeling a strange, vague sense of disequilibrium and physical depression. I was fatigued, and slept a lot. Gradually, the symptoms decreased as the revelation became a more 'normal' part of my interior, mental landscape. Sort of a 500-lb gorilla that I was learning to ignore. Finally, I found a new Church, with a new paradigm, and I settled into another state of ostensible well-being and spiritual growth.

Did my description of those symptoms strike any responsive chords with you, gentle reader? If so, you know exactly what I'm talking about, and maybe you feel better to know that it is normal and happens to those whose mental rug has been yanked from under their once-firm underpinnings. If not, then you probably have never believed something as 'indubitably true' and the foundation of your life. In case you're curious, I hung in with this new, semi-cultish Church for about a decade before I had revelation no. 2, and went thru the same 'conspiratorial nausea' a second time! While this organization proudly proclaims itself to be firmly 'Bible-based,' its evangelists going so far as to challenge listeners to 'check it for yourself in your own Bible,' the fact is that they hold to some far-out views that they can only 'prove' by considerable twisting of scriptures... and quotes from their founding prophet. Again, I had plenty of warning phase-- ten years to be honest, because it was a doctrine concerning the foundation of Christianity-- the gospel-- that I had found troubling from the very start. Anyhow, when I finally allowed the truth to penetrate my thick skull, I again experienced those vague feelings of dread and depression. This time, I was able to recognize the symptoms and the cause. Altho that didn't stop the process, at least I knew it would eventually end.

And speaking of process, some of you astute readers will likely have noticed that what I'm describing is akin to the 'grieving process' because it is related. In this case, you are grieving the loss of cherished beliefs, of a once-solid platform that has suddenly crumbled under your feet. You can even experience some of the same emotions. For example, I actually recall feeling angry as my mind demanded to know why 'they' let this happen... why didn't someone (my parents, teachers, etc.) tell me the truth? Of course, I realized that they, too, had been brainwashed from childhood never to question the 'truth' as presented by their all-embracing Church. I mentioned the depression... how can this be?... How could it happen over the centuries? There's no 'bargaining' phase, but you will probably search for alternative theories, perhaps abandoning all religious faith and embracing atheism.

Perhaps incredibly, for me there was yet another cycle. This last time, it was not directly a religious awakening that pushed me into conspiratorial angst, but rather, a political one. It happened in the wake of Sept. 11, 2001, after I watched on live TV, the incredible events. I knew instinctively that I was witnessing some kind of global loss of innocence, a truly 'apocalyptic' event. That spectacle got me searching the Internet for rational explanations since the official ones were transparently irrational. The more I read, the more obvious it became that this was the most blatant example of secret manipulations of world affairs to propel history in a specific direction... that being the establishment of a 'new world order' wherein the very few elite rule absolutely over the vast majority. Given this massive conspiracy, there are conspirators behind it. So, gentle reader, pull yourself together, because it's true-- there is a world-wide conspiracy, orchestrated over centuries by ultra-wealthy individuals belonging to a few dynastic families who want to become the ruling class in a world under their total domination. If you're new to this 'theory,' then my apologies for bursting your illusions. Now you may have to deal with conspiratorial nausea... but you will have the great advantage of knowing what is happening to you.

My hope is that this article, altho relying on personal referents, will help all novice readers in the realm of conspiracy to deal with the physical/mental symptoms that so often are triggered by revelations that unsettle our foundational belief systems. Please feel free to share your own experiences of conspiratorial nausea with fellow seekers by writing to this site.

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